For if the debt rise not ...

I imagine that this is what 1 Corinthians 15 looks like in President Obama's Bible:

But if there be no escalation of the debt, then is Marx not risen:

And if Marx be not risen, then is our Liberalism vain, and your sense of self-importance is also vain.  

Yea, and we are found false witnesses of Socialism; because we have testified of Socialism that it hath raised up the spirit of Marx: whom it raised not up, if so be that the debt rise not.

For if the debt rise not, then is not Marx raised:

And if Marx be not raised, your Liberalism is vain; ye are yet in fiscal responsibility.