Sunday, September 27, 2015

Why The Church is Losing

As is our custom, my wife and I arrived at church about 10:25 am this morning, in anticipation of the 11:00 am worship service.  Our most excellent choir happens to practice their anthems in the nave at that time, and it is our habit to sit on the pew in the narthex to listen to their angelic singing.

At around 10:30, the first usher, Mr. J, came grumbling into view.

"Well, I guess it's hurry up and wait!  Just like in the Army.  They want us here at 10:30 am, but there's not a damn thing we can do until 10:45, when the choir is finished."  I think he may have addressed this to myself or my wife, but we both had our eyes closed so as to better focus on the voices of the choir.

Mr. J set to loudly jingling the change in his left trousers pocket, until another parishioner came up the stairs.
"Well, I guess it's hurry up and wait!  Just like in the Army.  They want us here at 10:30 am, but there's nothing we can do until 10:45, when the choir is finished. Heh heh."

The other parishioner also made no reply to Mr. J, but soon he had a third opportunity to make his little speech about the hardships of usher duty.  I believe that the third parishioner gave at least a grunt of acknowledgement in return.

As the choir concluded its rehearsal, it occurred to me why Christianity is losing traction in our culture.  It is Mr. J's fault.  Well, not just him, but those like him.  Those for whom fifteen minutes of standing in silence at the door to the nave to keep the choir from being interrupted is simply just TOO much to bear, an unthinkable burden.

Meanwhile, those whose religion makes them enemies of Christ are often willing to die for their religion.  I don't think you can defeat (or outpace) a religion whose adherents are wiling to die in its defense with one whose adherents think that showing up to church fifteen minutes early is in unspeakably horrible imposition.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Exothermic (Yet Another New Poem)

This morning, I wrote another poem for my wife.  This one is essentially intended as a "Nerd Remix" of the Song, "My Gal is Red Hot"  (see below).  I set two main rules for myself in writing this:  (1) I could not use the word "red"; and (2) I could not use the word "hot".


My gal is exothermic; yours is not.
Allow me to expand upon this thought:
She violates thermodynamic laws.
Her temperature would give Lord Kelvin pause.

She radiates both infrared and light,
And shimmers like a ruby in my sight.
Her aura is a bright photonic maelstrom
Of wavelength nearly 7000 Ångström.

Allow me to continue with my boast:
Her enthalpy of fusion is the most!
Her burning beauty your gal cannot touch.
(About her ΔS, I’ll not say much.)

My opening volley is my parting shot:
My gal is exothermic; yours is not!

© 2015, Paul W. Erlandson

Here is the song mentioned above: