Recidivism and the Bodybuilding Diet

In four days, I can eat anything I want, because my bodybuilding contest prep diet will be over.  The contest is on Saturday, and for months I have been daydreaming about what to eat on Sunday.

Pizza?  Cheesecake Factory?  Blonde Brownies?

The possibilities are endless.  Infinite freedom!  No constraints!  No laws!  No dietary lords nor masters!

But, if past experience is a reliable guide, I will find that I cannot handle this amount of freedom.  I have come to lean heavily on the predictable structure of the bodybuilding diet.  It's 2:30 pm?  Chicken breast and green salad.  No questions, no debate, no hand-wringing, no doubt, no guilt.  It's easy, exactly because it leaves me no freedom, no wiggle room.

And do you know what?  The bodybuilding diet makes me feel safe.  Secure.  Big, bad obesity cannot come and devour me if I stick to the bodybuilding diet.  I feel very safe.

As I considered this language I was using to describe my relationship to the bodybuilding diet, I realized that I had heard it all before.  It took me only a few seconds to remember where:  in the mouths of ex-convicts who had lived a life of recidivism, in and out of prison, but mostly in.  Like me, they all dreamed about the day they'd get paroled.  All the girls they'd meet, all the cars they'd drive, all the food they'd eat.  But, like me, life on the outside was too wild, too free, to unstructured.  They didn't know how to survive in that world.  But they had spent years figuring out how to survive inside a prison.  So, they went back.  Back to where they could feel safe.

And, I reckon, so will I.

In Defense of the "Selfie."

I would like to say a word or two in defense of the much-maligned photographic self-portrait, or "selfie." A facebook friend recently made this comment about selfies:  

"You can pretty much tell how self obsessed, narcissistic and in love with one's self, by the amount of selfies they post in a day. Any more than 3 is just too many. It is no wonder these people are single."

Well, now first of all, it must be noted that some of us who are guilty of posting too many selfies actually ARE married, not single.  So, there's that.

But what of the charge of narcissism?  Of self love?  Are these charges valid?  I submit to you that they are not necessarily valid.  Without further delay, then, here are some reasons I think that posting selfies is okay.

1.  We are made in God's image.  How cool is this?  I think that we can be pardoned for occasionally letting this amazing fact overwhelm us, with the glorious fruition of that overwhelming being ... a selfie.

2.  Posting an image of oneself is not necessarily a comment on other people.  Folks take and post selfies for all sorts of reasons, I imagine.  One reason I do is for documention of how I look.  This is necessary for the hobby of bodybuilding.  Without it, one becomes lost.  Granted, not all of these documentary photos need to be posted.  But it is convenient to do so in an online journal, and so I consider it valid.

3.  Others actually may be interested.  I like (and on facebook, Like) the selfies my friends take.  The more the merrier.  Bring them on!  I also like pictures of what you are eating, clever words you spelled in Scrabble, etc.  I love it all.  Please continue to post it.

4.  Although some selfies are artless, this need not be the case.  We are all familiar with the one-arm-extended MySpace-style selfie.  But this does not define or limit the genre.  You would be amazed at the selfies you can take if you simply get hold of a tripod and a camera with a delay timer.
5.  There is a rich artistic heritage of selfies.

Exhibit A:




Exhibit B:




Exhibit C




Exhibit D:




Exhibit E:



Q. E. D.

Dads and their Daughters' Dates - How NOT to do it!

We've all seen this kind of über-macho "Alpha Dad" displaying his "Rules for Dating My Daughter" ... whether on facebook, other social media, or in real life.  It masquerades as the loving concern of a father, but in actuality it is pathetic and cruel.

Here are a few examples, so that you know just what I'm talking about:



 

Let me outline for you some of the reasons I find this disturbing:

1.  Its opening volley is steeped in hostility and violence.  In the first image, the father is pointing a revolver at his daughter's prospective date.  In the second, the father states his dislike for the young man, and later promises to repay him for whatever the date does to his daughter.  I can imagine all kinds of hilarity stemming from a strict constructionist interpretation of Rule 10: "You shared a soda with her using two straws, so now I'm gonna ... uh oh."  But the main point is the hatred.   Is this the kind of society we really want to live in?  One ruled by fear of being shot?

2.  Whenever you, as a father, post something like this, IT IS AN ADMISSION OF THE CRAPPY JOB YOU HAVE DONE RAISING YOUR DAUGHTER!  Obviously, you've raised the kind of daughter who is attracted to crackheads and other criminals.  All your posturing proves this.  I'm sorry you've been an incompetent father.  MY daughter can actually be trusted to weed out the losers.  That's the way we raised her.  I'm sorry you were not able to do that.

3.  This method is counterproductive:  it only scares the good guys, the ones who respect adult authority.  Thugs are thugs.  They'd love the excuse to try and lay you out, and there is, of course, some chance that they are more of a badass than you are.  Slight, perhaps, but not zero.  In any case, the intimidation produced will be the strongest in exactly the type of young man you should be encouraging your daughter to spend time with.

4.  Once a few good young men have had a close-up look at your shotgun and the trunk of your car (you moron) the word will get around that your daughter is not worth dating ... because her dad is a psycho.  This is not going to help her in the long run.

5.  I want to tread lightly here, but there is some sense in many of these cases of the father seeing the boyfriends as rivals.  Maybe it doesn't have a sexual overtone, maybe it does, but it is at the very least a sick sort of possessiveness.  NEWS FLASH:  Your daughter never belonged to you.  She is not your property. She is God's, and you have simply been granted the privilege of caring for her and providing for her for a short time.

So, in summary, men:  KNOCK IT OFF!

My First Bodybuilding Contest of 2013

Well, I guess it depends on what you consider a "contest."  Nobody else showed up to compete in the Masters (over 40) or Grand Masters (over 50) bodybuilding classes, so I won both of them by default.

Here are some pics of how I looked on stage.  My weight that day was 175 pounds.  That means that I have put on about 23 pounds of lean muscle mass in just a little over 4 years. I am really happy with that!  

I will be competing again this weekend, October 5, and expect a much larger turnout, so I am quite confident I will have several other bodybuilders to compete against.

 

 

Top Six "Breaking Bad" Plot Twists

Fans of the AMC series Breaking Bad have applauded it for its brilliant use of foreshadowing ... and they are correct.

It got me thinking:  What events in the show so far may turn out to have been foreshadowing for quirky plot twists in the final episode?  Without further delay, here are my Top 6 guesses.

6.  Lydia sprains her ankle.

Foreshadowing:  Many lengthy scenes of Lydia walking in high heels over questionable surfaces such as dirt and gravel.

5.  Huell opens a Fat Camp.

Foreshadowing:  Huell has been locked away under police protection for several weeks.  If he has good "Before" photos of himself, he has a lucrative new business opportunity on his hands.

4.  Jesse Pinkman becomes a Franciscan.

Foreshadowing:  Throwing millions of dollars out of his car window for the poor to glean.

3.  Marie murders Skyler.

Foreshadowing:  Marie can't get to Walt, so she'll take revenge on Skyler.  Let's be honest; Marie has been weaving in and out of sanity for the entire series.

2.  Saul Goodman forms a psychedelic band.

Foreshadowing:  The drive to wear garish clothing is coded deep in Saul's DNA.  Identity change program notwithstanding, white shirts are not going to cut it for Saul.

1.  Gretchen and Elliott get their comeuppance.

Foreshadowing:  Let's face it - We've been carefully groomed to hate this slimy couple from the very beginning.  It's time for them to face the music.

Oksana Grishina - Winning Strength

Here is a documentary that I will enjoy at least as much as Generation Iron:  Oksana Grishina in "Winning Strength."





 
I don't know when or where this will be released, but I'm excited about it!  This video clip has behind-the-scenes footage:

Film Review - Generation Iron

Last night I saw the much awaited pro bodybuilding documentary, Generation Iron.

This is the second "special interest" film I've seen in a theater this year.  The first was Snake & Mongoose, and the films shared some interesting similarities.  Both were guaranteed from the start to appeal deeply to the fanatics of their respective sports. Both were announced LONG before they actually made it to theaters.  It seemed to take forever for the opening days to arrive.  And both struggle, I believe, to appeal to a general audience beyond the hardcore drag race fans or bodybuilding afficionados.

Before arriving in the theater to see Generation Iron, I had read several online reviews.  The consensus view was that the movie deserved 3 stars out of a possible 4.  But after seeing the film, I would have to give it 4 stars out of 4.  It surpassed my expectations.

Some complained about the pacing of the film (too slow), but I didn't get that sense.  To me, the cycling around from one competitor to the next in semi-random fashion kept things interesting.

I have to say that I have never been a fan of Kai Greene.  I think his physique looks blocky.  I never have liked how ridiculously low his lats insert (just above the beltline!).  And sometimes, in previous interviews, Kai has seemed to lose the thread of what he wanted to say, the original sense of it having vanished in some artistic fog.  But in this film, he was coherent, never got lost, and was even eloquent at points.  By the time the film ended, I still liked Phil Heath's physique better than Kai's, but I liked Kai much better as a person.  The scenes of him painting were not only very dramatic, but beautiful to watch.

Some competitors I knew only from stage photos, and Generation Iron gave me the opportunity to know them as fully-orbed human beings. A case in point was bodybuilder Roelly Winklaar from Curacao.  His unique relationship with his trainer, Sibil Peters, who Roelly refers to as "Grandma," was a high point of the film for me.   The scene in which she chides him for staying up late at night on the internet and showing up for workouts tired is priceless.

Also priceless is the timing of the scene after which Branch Warren discusses the matter of injuries, and how most of his injuries have happened outside the gym.

One fantastic sub-plot which I truly enjoyed was the subtle Bro Science vs Official Science drama, the latter being embodied in the training of Ben Pakulski.  During the film, Official Science Dudes in immaculate white lab coats have Ben hooked up to high-tech computers which show exactly how he should do each repetition to stimulate the scientifically optimized muscle growth.  During one interview, Ben opines that only two of his competitors really stand a chance of beating him at the Olympia.  But it is a beautiful set-up for the defeat of Science and Technology at the hands of Old Fashioned Blood and Guts (as personified by most of the other Olympia competitors, but perhaps none as much as Branch Warren, who specifically mentions character, brutal hard work, and courage as being more necessary than optimality as defined by official science).  When Ben was not announced as one of the Top 10 for the Olympia, it seemed like a crushing defeat of Official Science by Bro Science.  Ten bodybuilders who trained without computers hooked to them went back on stage that evening, but not Ben Pakulski, who finished 11th.  But even here, the filmmakers are not heavy handed with the message, allowing the viewer to form his or her own conclusions.
 
I ended up the film really liking Pakulski.  His speech on steroids was pithy and epic.  "No you couldnt.  You couldn't do what I do," it concludes.   And he is right.

I liked getting to know Hidetada Yamagishi better.  I'd seen him compete before at the Arnold.  He seems to embody a kind of humility rarely found in bodybuilding, and I appreciated his struggle for something so difficult, when even his family does not seem to understand the importance of what he has achieved.

I have always liked Victor Martinez, both physique-wise, and as a person, and Generation Iron solidified those opinions in my mind.

I need to say a few words about Phil Heath.  Now, I am not unaware that filmmakers manipulate characters (yes, even in documentaries) for their own ends, to make the story "better" than it actually is, and that may have happened here.  But Phil's personality left me cold throughout this entire film.  Every other competitor seemed to be on the Olympia quest for some sort of higher reason:  God, family, vindication, art ... SOMETHING!  But Phil Heath seems to have made it all about Phil Heath.  The coolest thing, so he says, about a successful defense of his Olympia crown would be ... that it would make him, Phil Heath, feel like a god, like an Adonis.  It seems a less than noble goal.

If you are a hardcore bodybuilding fan, you have probably already seen the film or are plotting how to get to a city where it is actually showing.  If not, I would still recommend this film to you, as a very fine introduction to the state of professional bodybuilding today, the kinds of people it draws to its ranks, the things they must endure to succeed, and the look, feel, and grit of what it means to be a bodybuilder at the very highest level.